April 2002

Communicating without a desired outcome, without an objective, is like traveling without a destination. Although enjoying your trip is a very good experience, ending up where you want to be is more productive.

Effective communication is like taking a trip. First you need to know where you want to go, then decide how you will reach your destination; whether you will fly, drive, bicycle or walk. Should you decide to drive, then you need to choose which road to take and along the way have some checkpoints or landmarks that indicate whether or not you are on the right road.

And when you arrive at your final destination, you need to know that you are indeed where you wanted to be. What do you need to see, hear and feel in order to know that you have reached your destination

Just as travel begins with a destination; effective communication begins its process with the recognition of a desired outcome.

Effective Communication Strategies

The next Effective Communication seminar, to be held May 18th, will present a system of linguistic tools which allow us the maximum precision while communicating with others.

The last seminar “Strategic Questioning and Focused Listening” addressed the importance of establishing rapport when we communicate and how focusing can help us listen more effectively. The May 18th seminar will highlight how language reflects the way people think and process information while they communicate.

Look for a separate mailing with more information about this next month


April 11th Cancham PubNight
April 17th, 24th Biljana Pelic Music Workshops
April 23rd Cancham Bowling Night
May 6th WIB -Women in Business dinner
May 2nd, 9th, 16th, 23rd, 30th Biljana Pelic Music Workshops
May 18th Effective Communication Strategies workshop
June 3rd WIB -Women in Business dinner

Communication Tip of the Month: Establishing Rapport

If Effective Communication begins its process with the recognition of a desired outcome, establishing rapport with the person we are communicating with is almost mandatory to be able to reach our goal. When rapport is present during a negotiation, we can easily proceed toward our outcome. When out of rapport, conflict and misunderstanding are more likely to occur.

Rapport is the ability to relate to others in a way that creates a climate of trust and understanding.

It is the ability to see each other’s point of view (without necessarily agreeing with it), to be on the same wavelength and to appreciate each other’s feelings. It is the key element of communication. Most business decisions are made on the basis of rapport rather than technical merit or technical information.

We are more likely to buy from, agree with, and support someone we can relate with than someone we feel out of touch with.

How can we create rapport?“People like people who are like themselves”. We are naturally in rapport with people who are like us and think like us. We feel comfortable with people who behave like us, share the same interests, have similar ideas and feel the same about life or life experiences.

The challenge remains to establish rapport with those who don’t seem to have much in common with us.

One easy way to develop rapport is to start “matching” the other person; meaning adopting parts of the other person’s behavior, such as gestures, facial expressions , forms of speech, tone of voice, etc. When done subtly, a feeling of rapport between people can be created.

Only seven percent of our communication is expressed through words. The rest is expressed mainly through body language; gestures, breathing, facial expressions, and voice (i.e. tempo, timbre, tone and volume).

While words account for only 7% of our communication, they are nonetheless the content of our communication. By paying attention to the words people are using when speaking with us and answering them using the same words, we are able to create a feeling of rapport.

A deeper level of rapport exists when more of the internal elements and emotions are matched such as values and beliefs.

Rapport is a form of influence. The quality of the rapport that we have while relating with others will influence our communication.

Are you aware of the quality of rapport you have with others when you communicate?

Yours truly,Karin